What!,…. you are asking, is wrong with that?

Well nothing when it comes to being polite, and nothing during the “Gather Phase of Identify Here” but everything is wrong with it if you are trying to help your client move toward the wellness they want (during the Stage 3 of Phase 1).

How can that be?

Well, this phrase it usually produces a very short list of things that are ‘still wrong’ and that focus is self-defeating for you and them.

What should you do instead?

Prepare by pulling out your notes and having handy 3-4 accomplishments that you have noted they have made so far in Stage 2.

My process: I make a list of a few things they accomplished at the end of each meeting, example: they got their log done, they purchased the CD for meditation, they incorporated parsley last week….

I make a copy of those successes I noted at end of the last session and put it on top of the folder so when I go to prep I have a tickler on where I want to start the session.

Instead of asking “How are you doing?”

I begin with:

“tell me what went well for you since I have seen you?” or

“When we left off last time you had purchased the CD ….”

I will lead the train of thought toward the positive to begin.

We will get to the struggles but we want that to be sandwiched in the session. Not the beginning or ending…

If the client is in a downward motion at the session right away I will say, on our agenda today we’re going to focus head to toe (have the previous head to toe sheet from Gather in Identify here with you!) FIlling in the positive of each so we can better find our next best ONE focus to your goal of x,y,z.
I am sure to kick it off by mentioning one or two items that they have done well.

Example: “we know the last time we met you liked this, found that effective, …. then there’s this.. then I’d bring in the “let’s get me caught up by going head to toe (you have items picked out such as last time your steps increased, you found using a 1 bundle of herbs per week was a good way of self-care, you found using ear plugs helps you sleep, …)

Once you have done this a few times with them they will begin to think head to toe of the good things they want to start with.

It sets the tone. It has the brain looking for the good and this in itself is HUGE benefit to wellness work. The more the brain practices focusing on the good the more it looks for it. Retention is higher, it refuels the weary….

Let me give you a specific client example.

Client (parents of an Autistic child went from multiple medications and constipation to BM and off all meds)

Now if I ask How is Charles doing?

The focus and answer is

• ‘He had this issue in school,
• Then that bad behavior at home,
• We need to get him more responsible….
• The list will go on and on…

which places them in a state of overwhelm before we even start!

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Now if I begin the session with:

“Last time we were feeling confident that even now off all the medications (which was your first goal):

• Charles’s mood has not changed for the worse. As a matter of fact, he is less moody.

• Charles is also continuing to go to the bathroom without over the counter products,

• Charles had 6 reports during last month of excellent behavior;

• more self-awareness and

• awareness of others from the school teachers and aids.

What has progressed since then?

Let’s go from head to toe and see where we are continuing to make progress up to today.

Then we’ll see the direction we should take to continue improving’.

This type of opening of the session will typically foster the response of the client thinking through what other items have improved.

In this session they reported:

• headaches were reduced,
• use of the new supplement went really well.
• The willingness to eat a fruit was amazing!

AND they SAY, wow day to day seems rough but look how we are making progress.

It just seems overwhelming at times when we are in the trenches but these changes are adding up. 😉

So again, we will cover the things that are not moving in the right direction but that is 2nd after we lay some ground work down to revisit the items where progress was made.

This creates the positive ‘tone’ for the session. The openness for listening to what can be incorporated next.

During the session, I also repeat progress they have just mentioned.

For instance:
Sleep issue is consistently still there.

My response is to frame the time frame it might take for it to be where they would like it to be.,

“yes, just like with ( I choose a body system) constipation the body will slowly adapt to the new bio-individual terrain as we move toward Charles Point A and lets walk through some suggestions that may be helpful and you choose what you would like to give a try.”

Example: “Let’s address the sleep; just like with ( I choose a body symptom they resolved that took time) constipation the body will slowly adapt to the new bio-individual terrain as we move toward Charles’s Point A and lets walk through some suggestions that may be helpful and you choose what you would like to give a try.”

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Now the 2nd phrase to get rid of when starting a session with a retained client.

At the onset of the session the practitioner is asking the clients:

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What did you do?…

What did You get done?…

What did you accomplish?….